Things only Programmers will understand

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According to Wikipedia, a programmer, computer programmer, developer, coder, or software engineer is a person who writes computer software.

The term computer programmer can refer to a specialist in one area of computer programming or to a generalist who writes code for many kinds of software.

Some Other Amazing Computer facts..

 

Here's some things only Programmers will ever understand.

 

       hello-world

  1. The root is at the top of the tree!
  2. Counting starts from zero, not one.
  3. There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
  4. Programming is the art of thinking really hard about how to avoid having to think really hard.
  5. 256 is a perfectly round number.
  6. We objectify everything.
  7. Sleeping with a problem, can actually solve it.
  8. We know the difference between a String and a Thread.
  9. DEBUGGING : Removing the needles from the haystack.
  10. We're not all fat.
  11. COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.
  12. Programming is an art form that fights back.
  13. The Cloud simply means someone else's computer.
  14. Murphy was right.
  15. That Office documents are actually ZIP files.
  16. When you format your hard drive, the files are not deleted.

A Typical Week of a Programmer:

          developer joke

  1. There is actually a language called Brainfuck
  2. Computer interfaces and user interfaces are as different as night and 1.
  3. You never finish a program you just stop working on it.
  4. Deliver yesterday, code today, and think tomorrow.
  5. We understand the power of complexity.
  6. There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works
  7. I have no idea why your System won't open Yahoo Mail.
  8. I’m NOT a PC repair technician.
  9. I can't hack into your school network to change your grades.
  10. I can't hack into your lovers email account and hand you his/her password.

"So this SEO copywriter walks into a bar, grill, pub, public house, Irish bar, bartender, drinks, beer, wine, liquor"

  1. I can't build you a Google clone in a month.
  2. C is almost a real language. Even the name sounds like it's gone through
    an optimizing compiler. Get rid of all of those stupid brackets and we'll talk.
  3. I don't have a large screen with a black background and a green font in my room.
  4. Nope, your idea isn't as original as you think. A social network for sharing pictures already exist, it's called Instagram.
  5. I probably have no idea why your printer won't work.
  6. I hate noisy places most of the time. I can't think in them. Thinking basically embodies everything I do.
  7. Java is just about as similar to JavaScript, as an 'ox' is to an 'oxymoron'
  8. Yes, I can develop web sites... but no, I won't do it for the contents of your penny jar, so don't ask as refusal may offend.
  9. We're more creative than your marketing department.
  10. I don't know specifically why your home computer is slow/broken/won't print or can't get online... it could be any one of a thousand million things. I'm a programmer, go talk to an infrastructure guy.
  11. I don't care about your daughter/brother/aunt/long-lost-friend who "works with computers"
  12. Programmers are not electrical engineers; most don't own a soldering iron.
  13. Don't tell us what you think the solution is, give us the symptoms of the problem or the requirement, you'll get a lot further much, much quicker.
  14. We get extra points for stealing each other's work.
  15. We get credits for avoiding work.
  16. We release software with known defects.

          sql joke

  1. The three most dangerous things in the world are programmers with a
    soldering iron, a hardware type with a program patch and a user with an idea.
  2. We all want to do the toughest work.
  3. Size doesn't matter. A few lines of our code can make or save millions.
  1. The work done will be fast, good or cheap, you can only pick two.
  2. HTML is not a programming language and you're not a programmer just because you know how to make a web page.
  3. That when you see the phrase "due to a computer error" reported in the media, no computer was actually at fault - someone somewhere messed up.
  4. Try telling this to a normal person: A parent may kill its children if the task assigned to them is no longer needed.
  5. About 25% or more of the hours spent writing an application are spent figuring out ways the end user will do something wrong.
  6. The building in town with the most valuable contents isn't the bank or even the jewelry store; it's the data center.
  7. programmers are the ones who deals with algorithms and design principles, not the one who repairs a computer.
  8. "Programming" is thinking, not typing.  Most of programming is spent sleeping, walking around, staring out the window, or doing anything else that helps you relax and think.
  9. 1 Mbps and 1 MBps internet connection don't mean the same thing.
  10. When someone tells you they have a "great idea for an app", what that really means is that they want you to work for free for 6-12 months "in your spare time" while they share 50% or more of the profit, and none of the expense.
  11. The most difficult part of writing a program is not actually writing the program but rather determining what the client wants the program to do.
  12. A large part of what a program does is hide from you the gory details of when things go wrong.
  13. Just as you're usually not impressed when we brag about how much we know about computers, we're not impressed when you brag about how little you know about them.
  14. Never put off until run time what you can do at compile time.
  15. Real programmers are surprised when the odometers in their cars don't turn from 99,999 to 99,99A.

           programmer code

  1. Programmers knows that no computer system is truly secure
  2. Programming is best done "in the zone" - a (pleasant) state of mind where your focus on the task is absolute and everything seems easy. This is probably much like "the zone" for musicians and athletes.
  3. FORTRAN is not a language. It's a way of turning a multi-million
    dollar mainframe into a $50 programmable scientific calculator.
  4. Programming is more about the art of problem solving with limited options than a science of understanding exact conditions to produce reliable results.
  5. Digital content can never be moved, only copied.
  6. You can never watch or listen to anything on the internet without having it copied to your computer first.
  7. You cannot password protect a computer from someone who has physical access to it, only encryption really works.
  8. When you empty the trashcan, the files are not deleted.
  9. C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
  10. Your desktop computer can run advanced programs for free that used to be available only to big companies for $100,000. Like Unix, virtual machines and SQL servers.
  1. We do hate the word "Just"... like “Just add one page in the application and let that take care of payroll processing.”
  2. I write backend code, I would rather not touch HTML and CSS so stop asking if I design websites.
  3. I can see that you deleted the record. There is an audit trail!! Stop trying to blame my code and man up!Javascript

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